Today, something unexpected happened that took me by surprise.
I was meeting with a friend who shared that her daughter and son-in-law were expecting another child. She mentioned that they recently learned the child has Down syndrome. One might assume my response would be one of sorrow or sympathy. But instead, I smiled.. Almost immediately, I wondered if that was an inappropriate response or if I had caused offense.
Why did I respond that way? After all, this couple’s child will face a lifelong condition with various health and life concerns. So, why did my heart react with joy?
As a youth pastor for most of my life, I’ve had the privilege of developing friendships and mentorships with young people—many now in their 20s and 30s—who have various cognitive, physical, or chromosomal differences—and feel a special connection with many of them. I’ll admit, engaging and building relationships with those who have special needs can be intimidating because sometimes you say or do the wrong things, or you’re not sure how to respond. I still struggle with this sometimes. My dear wife once accidentally used the phrase, “That’s like the blind leading the blind,” while speaking to our blind friend!
She was mortified, but he was gracious.
However, if you can push through the discomfort and learn the skills necessary for successful relationship building, you will be blessed beyond measure.
Chris attends our church and has been working on our custodial team for several years. He loves to scare people. If he’s in the building and hears you coming, you can count on him ditching the mop, sneaking around a corner, and trying to catch you off guard. He regularly sings at the top of his lungs while cleaning windows or mopping stairs. I love his unabashed worship! I’ve made it a habit to use his singing as an opportunity to sneak up on him and return the favor.
Chris always sits in the front row during services, and I love sitting there with him as I’m preparing to preach. He worships with such fullness and loves the Lord so deeply. He’s often the one giving the most audible affirmations during the sermon. When we sing together in the front row with our hands raised, my heart soars. Worshiping with Chris is a joy.
Tim is another friend who constantly encourages me as a preacher and pastor. He often comes up to me on Sundays and whispers, “When are you preaching again?” When I tell him, he gives me a big thumbs up.
Then there’s Aaron. I had the privilege of walking alongside Aaron during 6th, 7th, and 8th grades in my LifeGroup. During those middle school years, he struggled to come to grips with his autism. Now in high school, Aaron makes it a point to greet me and check in every single Sunday. One of my favorite things about him is that sometimes I can’t tell if he’s being serious or joking—so I end up freezing. With a little smirk on his face, he’ll say flatly, “I’m just joking.”
(I’ve changed the names in these stories to protect their privacy.)
As I grow older and spend more time with people who aren’t exactly like me, the Holy Spirit continues to deepen my understanding of the vision God lays out for His church through Paul’s writing in 1 Corinthians chapters 12 and 13. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit will also help you gain a clearer vision of what the Church and church are supposed to look like.
If you’d like to explore this topic further, here are some great resources to start your journey.
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